A Letter To My Younger Self

A few weeks ago I was inspired to write this letter about what I would say to my younger self. I'm a pretty open person and strangely enough I found this kind of difficult to share, but from my experience everything brought out of darkness and into the light brings nothing but healing. Mind you this is what I would have NEEDED to hear years ago and it may be disturbing to some of you, but this in fact was my reality and is the reality of so many teens and young adults.

To my younger self,

I know your suicidal thoughts.

I hear the lies echoing in your head about your self hate. 

I see your tears, your blood and mutilated limbs. 

I see past your tough exterior you use to hide in. 

I know you're broken and I know you're hurting. 

Your pain is real. 

You may not believe me when I tell you this,

but one day you will experience the highest of highs

and I'm not talking about any drug.

It's natural, it's so real and it's something greater than you, something from outside you that lives, moves and breathes and that will move through you. 

You can't see it now because it's very dark where you are, bu there is hope.

You are not alone.

One day you will actually love you.

And one day you will actually love your body.

You will quit hurting it for temporary comfort.

You will be kind to it. 

One day you will see yourself as beautiful.

Will you please fight to live another day?

Because I promise you this pain and internal suffering will stop.

Will you please fight to live another day?

Because the pain you feel right now will one day be use to bring other girls hope.

Will you please fight to live another day?

Because you are deeply loved.

Please keep fighting,

I know you're tired, but I believe in you.

You are so strong.

You are courageous.

You are worthy. 

Love, 

Your Older Self 

<3

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Finding Rest In Spain

As most of you know I am in Barcelona! (Yah!) I have been here for over a month and I will be here for about 3 months. Currently I am volunteering with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and am staffing a 3 month long school for artists and creatives. The school is facilitated in a way where we have speakers come in from all over the world, every week to teach and challenge the students in their art or craft; proposing thought provoking ideas and questions but always bringing the focus back to how we can use our passions and gifts to glorify God and share Gods love with humanity in a powerful way. We will be putting on art expositions every couple weeks through out the city to reach out and share our creations with the community and connect with people on a deeper level using the universal language of art.

And I apologize for my lack of keeping everyone up to date with what we have been doing!  Barcelona has been fun, it is a lot different than I expected. The first couple weeks was lots of rest after a long year of almost no rest. My first month here has involved lots of "pruning",  as my friend Brooke would say. Pruning as in taking the time to reflect on where I am in life and cutting off old habits and ways of thinking. It's just been a very intense and fast time of growth. Which some of you may know isn't always easy, in fact most times it hurts, a lot. Just like when you're in those awkward teenage years where your legs throb from growing and all you wanna do is sleep. That kind of sums up a lot of this past six weeks. Tons of growing pains and lots of rest (which is really hard for me, all I wanna do is go, go, go).

Since the school has started though it's been full of joy and inspiration. Even though I'm staffing and helping lead students, I've been so deeply inspired by speakers who have come in and out of our classroom. I'm inspired by peoples lives and how they have pursued their dreams, how they've joined God in "co-creating", and how many amazing and impossible things they have created and accomplished by partnering with God. Needless to say, so many of my dreams and ideas over the last few years have become more solidified in a matter of weeks. I still don't know when I'm leaving here or where I'm going to end up, but I know wherever I Mike and I find ourselves we are gonna hit the ground running!

-Grace

xo

Night of my birthday after eating the best ramen where we couldn't hear each other talk because the restaurant was so loud

View from our flat // That is La Sagrada Familia in the distance

Nomad Coffee Shop

My favorite coffee shop and plant store Espai Juliu // I LOVE plants!

Being a tourist for a second at the Arc de Triomf

Dancing the night away // Film shot by Mike Penhale

La Marcè Festival // Film shot by Mike Penhale

La Mercè festival has been celebrated in Barcelona for hundreds of years. The Catholic church made this festival as a time when the "gates of hell" would open so they could scare people into salvation. The towns people would go to the church and pay money to get saved so that they wouldn't go to hell when they die.
What I experienced was quite similar...other than the church collecting money for salvations. There was a huge wooden door surrounded by boards shaped and painted as flames where huge mythical creatures with people inside walking them would come out of the gates shooting fire from their mouths. "Demons" or people dressed us a little Satans ran around with sparkler torches dancing with attendees and shooting fire at peoples feet. There we also many drum bands walking down the street following the demons and mythical creatures.
This is probably the craziest thing I've ever seen!

My Top 10 Beauty Favorites

Awhile ago I gave a list of 5 of my favorite things, things that made life just a little more organized and a little more pretty. This here is a list of my 10 favorite beauty products right now, because we all know I lovvvveeee all things beauty. Some of these guys were on my blog post a couple weeks ago but they ARE that great that I am featuring them again :)

1. Dr. Bonners Lavender Castille Soap

This stuff has been around for decades and I love using this for body wash. It's natural it smells great, it gets the job done along with about 20 other things you can use this soap for. It comes in an array of different scents but I love lavender everything...so lavender it is. 

2. Lime Crime Cashmere Velvetine

This guy was on my favorite things list and I'm putting it on here because it truly is that good. The company is vegan and cruelty friendly. It smells like cupcakes, is matte and the formula glides on beautifully and stays on LITERALLY the whole day! Never have I not seen this color compliment every skin tone either...

3. Burts Bees Beeswax Lip Balm

I use this balm e-v-er-yday. I never get chapped lips...I think this balm is why.  The creamy texture and hint of peppermint makes your mouth tingle and feels refreshed, and I feel it makes my lips a little more plump! Not sure if it's suppose to do that, but I'm not complaining!

4. Where Is Pore? Caolion Premium Blackhead Steam Pore Pack

I swear Korea knows what they are doing when it comes to skin care. This mask has steam-activated charcoal powder that opens up clogged pores and extracts the gunk while it also exfoliates dead skin cells. Some how they've created this mask to create heat, I was shocked when I put it on because it really does feel like you're sitting in front of a steamer. This mask makes my skin feel smoother and look brighter.

5. Globe Petal Multi-Use Oil

This oil. This fricken oil guys! You can use for E-V-E-R-Y single thing. As a body moisturizer, on your face before bed, your nails, hair...I'm sure you can find more things to put it on. But I love this stuff a little goes a longgggg way and the smell, oh the smell is heavenly!

6. Tangle Teezer 

This product was also on my list of favorite things. This brush is amazing on wet hair which is always a no-no but not with this, it gets out stubborn knots on dry hair and helps create volume if you rub it in your scalp. 

7. Cedar + Stone Scrub

This scrub is all natural and has 21 different minerals to detox, purify and calm your skin. The scent is earthy and calming which is my favorite. It will "scrub" all your worries away...

8. Hologram Nail Polish 

There isn't much to say about any nail polish really...other than this color is the coolest and it brings me back to the 90's!

9. Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick in Matte Lavender 

Apparently I'm not just obsessed with the scent of lavender but with the color as well. This lipstick is very fun and different, it's definitely a statement color and I don't think I've really seen anyone else wear this color. But the formula is long-lasting, feels like velvet and comes in so many shades from hot reds, statement colors and nudes. 

10. Activated Charcoal Capsules (not pictured) 

Activated Charcoal is something you would normally take for an upset stomach but I use it for teeth whitening. I bought my bottle of capsules from Whole Foods (they probably have it at any natural food store). I crack open a capsule and put about half a capsule in my mouth and brush my teeth as usual. This can be very messy and a little bit goes a long way. But it's a great whiter and it won't hurt the enamel on your teeth or gums like other whiteners!

-Grace

xo